Andrea,

2010-04-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

www.andrea-aaa.TUMBLR.com

This just made my day. Unexpectedly Hilarious.

2010-04-09T11:40:00.003+08:00

Some day at Illuma.

2010-04-05T21:42:00.001+08:00

"Oh-So-Bored" Week ahead.

2010-03-29T11:45:00.002+08:00

Good heavens, I have totally no plans for this week. Ok, I do have my proposal and presentation to prepare and finish but I can't be doing this the whole week right? When I say plans I mean going out and have fun, not some nerve-wrecking Microsoft work and staying home to be with my ever-so-demanding dad. I really can't imagine life at home and the thought is scaring me now.

Yet on the other hand, I don't have enough cash to go out "chionging" either. Life is SO meaningless without moneh and I can't really work with my schedule now. Seems like steamboat wouldn't be happening this week either cos peeps wouldn't be free. Our time just can't seem to coordinate. Hmmm, I really wish dad would go overseas this few days so that I can have some time to myself. Maybe I should start reading or bring my camera along when traveling alone since it had been ages I have done any of these..

Wonders.

2010-03-28T11:42:00.003+08:00

It had been a long time since I've done a decent post. Was too busy with GP but I of course do have stuffs to say but I just found that this wouldn't be the prefect place to do it. I've just started understanding that there are different types of people and the way they handle stuff may not be the same as I would. Everyday I handle the same old people with different issues but its totally my choice to make things different or making it worst and its vice versa for the opposite side. It takes two hands to clap.

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that perfection can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. At such levels, this is considered an unhealthy belief, and psychologists typically refer to such individuals as maladaptive perfectionists.

One of my Biggest conflict in my life. I know things can't be prefect and I've always try to inject this idea into my big head, but it doesn't seem to stay. Because of this, I declare that my GP is nothing but shit to me and I have been feeling fucking lousy. Its really difficult to explain what I'm expecting but the outcome was totally different from the one that is formed in my head. Some say that its fine, some say that its plain and what scares me the most is people with no comments. But whats done is done there's no way I can re shoot everything so yeah. The greatest about GP was the whole process. The starting, the little problems here and there, the worries, the climax, the errors here and there again and finally the ending. I enjoyed every moment except the errors and cock ups here and there that almost killed me. I didn't regret choosing this module as I really couldn't picture myself rushing an essay but I found it rather risky for being able to score this time round. Dad wasn't happy with the previous semester's result cos its the worst of the whole year, damn it, I wasn't satisfied too. (Nothing's prefect ya know?! Really trying to inject this into my mind.)

Gotta start on my proposal now, haven't been giving it any attention ever since the deadline was delayed. I'm freaking out on the preparation of presentation. Wish me luck.

TVRP GP

2010-03-21T11:37:00.002+08:00

Done with the shooting, editing next.
Thanks to everyone who made it happen.

Getaway.

2010-03-15T10:26:00.006+08:00

Wanna blog but nothing to blog about.
Demoralised.

Another stage of everything.

2010-03-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

High claps for completing TVC and consider it a job well done :)

Final Cut Pro is mad cool. Coolie. I will very much like to use FCP as the editing tool for my GP but limitations as there's only two system for 10 or even more students.

Currently really stressed up because of GP. My dancers are not comfirmed yet and my plan is hanging. Never really thought that making a production can be so fucking tedious. Sometimes I really regret choosing TVRP for GP but sometimes I just love doing TVRP Productions. Urgh, that's just me.

I suppose my expectations are as high as Mr Min Latt's and that is definitely giving me ALOT of stress. I have totally no confidence in producing a high quality music video when I don't have my dancers coordinated, no idea where to shoot, no idea how to setup my studio and no idea how to present the whole idea in my head.
Mr Min Latt is kinda a freak case, no offence but he's kinda hard to know his working style and what he actually wants. Although he had already explained the stuff that he expects but still, you will never know what's next.

Here I wanna thank all the peeps that have helped me through out the whole planning process. Miss Hennie Fitriani, my babe who has always been there when I need your help although you are just mad irritating sometimes. Thanks to Cousy June for the dancers! Great dancers, great effort! Lets do our best and create a masterpiece.

Jiayou!

Same Old Thing.

2010-02-28T22:33:00.003+08:00

After every fight, you seem to recover faster, or you will ignore me like I'm nobody till sometime that you might need me.

After every fight, my tears are beyond control, no matter how I wanna ignore or how I wanna make it as though I don't care.

Your words and lectures are as though hammering nails onto the wall of my heart and although every time we patch things up and you started promising and removing the nails that you have hammered on previously, don't you ever forget that the wall of my heart carries the scars for the rest of my life no matter what.

I know that both you and I are tired of the life that we are living now. I will try to understand and take it as care and concern, but of course, I need time and your understanding as well. I will never want to bring up any fights. Maybe its ego, maybe its just my stubbornness.

Every fight that we have, it actually involves small issues here and there but we will just make them seem so life threatening. After every fight, I will question myself for the reason why things have to turn out this way, after all is it somehow my fault? We quarrel over housework issues most of the time, is it because I'm not doing enough? Am I being not understanding towards you? Am I being too calculative when I bring up matters about you not doing enough? Was I aware of what you have done for me? Am I taking things for granted? I will give it a thought and start sorting things out.

I'm sorry that being fat is actually becoming an issue that triggers more fights and contributing negatively towards our relationship.

Have you ever tried crying with the sour and sinking feeling in your heart when you are surrounded by people who are laughing to their hearts' content? This may be the worst feeling ever.

我已经找不到可以说心事的人了，我真的得自己走下去到最后。

不用想那么多，我没有再怪你，自己的事自己扛，我会没事的。

New Wants.

2010-02-25T21:32:00.002+08:00

I just wanna be Happy.

2010-02-24T15:44:00.008+08:00

I've been really emotional recently, be it sad or angry or happy. Alot had happened this past few days. Exams done and GP coming up. I can be celebrating this one moment but anger and hatred in the other. There's too much contrast between each issue. I only know, I'm left with nothing. I've lost.

Is being happy just so difficult? Happiness is always for temporary, or rather for my case, too fast to ever enjoy the little moments. From being ungrateful to savouring every moment and every little things in life, to now being abandoned and left in the darkest corner of every one's life. I'm seriously doubting my status in your heart, I'm demoting at an alarming rate I believe.
I don't know what to live on when my pillar of strength has already toppled down. I'm starting to question life again, not as though I've never did this, but I'm seriously giving up on all this. I don't wanna come back to this empty place again, a place without anyone who cares, a place where I'm not even important, a place where there is only cursing and blaming, a place where I can only find tears and hatred, a place called home but nothing in it resembles family.
I've never wanna admit this but I'm lonely.
Things that other people just can't understand.

Dinner at my place.

2010-02-21T18:18:00.002+08:00

Exams are OVER!

2010-02-19T22:33:00.003+08:00

What can I say?
We are so goddamn happy that the exams are over.
Yea, we got a tad crazy and resulting in all these shitsxz.
I can't stop laughing at all the videos,
I look like a fucking retard.
Bah, who cares? We had fun being crazy cos thats us ;)

Chinese New Year 2010

2010-02-17T16:09:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of photos cos I was busy mahjong-ing all the while,
all the photos are taken during mahjong breaks, WTF.

Old and Irritating People DON'T Deserve Respect.

2010-02-15T22:57:00.006+08:00

Seriously, I really don't understand why is it so hard for adults and the elders to understand what we as teens want and need. Didn't you guys got into what we are going through now when you were of our age? Maybe generation is the problem, but seriously you guys have to either catch up or just die, please don't stay and continue ruining the future for the people of this generation. I believe many will be nodding their heads when they read this. Fucking irritating old people who don't deserve any sympathy just because you are old. For once, cos you are seriously dying soon and starts praying and hoping to get to heaven, can't you just do something good? Although I know nothing good have been coming out of your mouth through out the years of your life but please at least try to avoid irritating others as I believe you will never want people to hate you at this age and when people do, you start complaining like a fucking irritating old hag who thinks they deserve the whole world's respect. Urgh. Now I really can understand why some people nowadays are really afraid of staying with their old aged parents. Especially those who still have have the stupid "Girls-ARE-suppose-to-do-the-housework" mindset. Aren't you girls too? Fucking mad. You love doing housework because you are too old for anything else to have your time occupied and when you do nothing you start getting desperate and depressed but that's seriously YOUR problem, I still have tons of exciting and interesting stuff for me to do before I'm old and fucking desperate to start finding stupid things to do cos I'll then be too old for anything else. If you want a boring and mundane life, that's your problem, just don't get mine involved.

A Reality Slap on my Face.

2010-02-11T01:37:00.002+08:00

This is totally random. I didn't manage to figure out what got me so emotional at this extremely odd hour of the day. It was as though I've always been in a dream and SNAP, its time to be awake now.

There's a sinking feeling in my heart, if I'm a emo, I would have already cut myself. It got so bad that I started whining and crying alone. I know, major WTF, FML moment. Fuck, I really don't know what got into me.

I got really sick of everything, the same me, the same clothes, the same room, the same laptop, the same routine, the same study table, the same phone, the same tv, the same bed, the same photos, the same voice, the same old motherfucking things.

I started to ponder why didn't I makes changes to my life earlier? Then it hit me, I didn't even care. Did I make the effort to make things different? Did I make the effort to pick up something that can enrich or brighten my life? I gave up on my first guitar lesson. I gave up after 3 weeks of dieting. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't even live life for myself. Where's the determination? The thought of screwing up JNB is killing me but I'm still not studying for the other 3 papers that is coming up real soon but instead whining about the papers being close to the festive season and having the guts to blog nonsense here.

FUCK.

I can't stop cursing at myself.

I'm telling you although I know you don't care.

2010-02-07T15:37:00.003+08:00

I have been suppressing my feelings way too long. I thought it was time to stop. Stop lying to myself that everything is going to be ok. Stop thinking that I'm able to go through all this alone. Stop tolerating the bullshit that wasn't even meant to be for me in the first place. Stop being treated as a substitute or replacement for anyone. Stop laughing like a stupid motherfucking bitch over every stupid unfunny thing when I'm just dying or cursing deep inside. Stop being "me" because you want me to be. Stop being the "ok" girl. Stop being the one who have to cover all the shit because everyone else don't want to. Stop being the one who have all the responsibility towards everything. Stop giving in to you.

I may have a stupid sucky attitude that you have to face everyday, but you know what? Yours isn't going to be any better for me to take. Stop giving me the disgusted look because I seriously think that I should be the one who is doing all this to you, at least I'm not disgusted just because of your physical appearance. I know I'm fat and everyone else is more than sure about this but I don't think it would be reasonable for you to give me the disgusted look just because I eat more than I should. You look at me as though I'm committing a crime. Call someone to get me then? Putting me in a jail is going to be far better than staying in this crap especially when its going to be filled with even more crappy people soon. If slimming down is so fucking easy like what you and others have fucking said, then the fucking ones who have fucking advised me should be fucking fit, but ironically, fucking fat as well. Come on, tell me something more convincing please. If I appear to be so disgusting, don't ever forget, I may have got them from you.

I don't wanna talk about how much love, care and concern you are suppose to give me because this will be way too much for you , I'm just talking about basic human rights here. I want to start being treated fairly. I don't see why I'm so different from the others that I have to tolerate all the shit that people don't want to. I seriously getting sick of picking up your socks, folding your underwear, washing you dishes and whipping up a meal that never seems to satisfy you! Could you just please tell me what you want so that you can stop giving me hell? I changing into someone I don't know. I can't feel what's inside anymore because I don't even have the right to cry. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to feel, I don't know when will all this stop and I don't know when can I tolerate till.

A sudden love for OBEY.

2010-02-07T11:52:00.013+08:00

Mad Chio and Expressive. I like ;)

New shoes.

2010-02-04T22:57:00.003+08:00

Yea, I know its different from the one I wanted initially cos I cant find any.
So, I got this. My bro said IT SUCKS, while my dad was all smiles. I don't know whether I like it or not, but I know its something different from what I have, so its a new start.

Bad day or Bad Months ahead?

2010-02-02T23:46:00.003+08:00

I have real bad news. Bad news maybe just for me but not everyone. Currently feeling fucking depressed over all these shitsxz. Urgh, I've got the urge to scream and cry, throwing tantrums like no body's business, but I know things will still be the same and I will just be wasting all my time and effort.
I'm gonna lose my freedom, my privacy, my room, my status, my human rights, my personal space, my everything.

Virgin Trip to the Flyer.

2010-01-31T10:41:00.002+08:00

Fort Canning for TVRP.

2010-01-27T18:54:00.002+08:00

Post will be continued with photos in Hennie's camera.

Daddy's Birthday Celebration.

2010-01-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

Celebrating Birthdays.

2010-01-23T23:37:00.007+08:00

I'm so sick of cakes now. Went to 2 birthday parties today. Happy Belated Birthday to Yihui BFF and Happy Birthday to Cousy Zen. I had fun. Had a long chat with my cousy at the party after so long and I found out that she's dancing! FTW! I asked her to introduce her dance crew to me and she will be giving me her answer tmrw. Thanks for the help babe :) On Monday, its Dad's birthday, don't think I'm gonna get him anything but maybe a simple cake? I'm super broke now, at least I remember his birthday unlike him. What's with birthdays recently?

I'm so goddamn busyyyy. FML to the max. Commercial and GP. I just can't get hold of any cast that we need. I have never been degrading myself this much before. I hate asking for favours in fact, I always do things by myself. Now, I've realise, sometimes don't be too naive thinking that your friends or contacts can help you. When you really need them, they have never really been there. I have not been helping them much anyway, so maybe its just what goes around comes around? Don't be mistaken BFFs. Its friends that I'm mentioning not BFFs. I'm having the worst of all headaches now.

I don't know what the fuck I want, do you?

2010-01-22T22:48:00.008+08:00

Have you ever been in love with something with your undying passion and you know this is what you want for the rest of your life but you are just so afraid to get it because you are unsure of what you are capable of doing? Don't get me wrong, I'm not being cheesy and talking about undying love or what so ever, but I'm taking about my Dream.
I'm fucking worried for my GP. I haven't got my dancing crew yet, and no planning is done yet. I've already started to freak out when Min Latt told us that he will not be with us in Feb for a month, FML to the max. I LOVE TVRP, but all these little things here and there and trying to put me down and putting a frown to my face. I'm seriously disheartened by everything, it seems like things that are happening recently is contributing to influencing my emotions and making me regret choosing my dream to complete TVRP. Oh God, what do I want? Make things go smoothly please.

SEXAY, I wanna get this for CNY!

ATTENTION NEEDED.

2010-01-19T23:02:00.004+08:00

I need a Dance Crew of 6 to be featured in my MTV. Contact me if interested or have any contact of dancers: 81839843

Typical Days.

2010-01-11T21:34:00.006+08:00

Alright, I know 2010 is lacking of posts so here goes. Busy with school as usual. FML to the max, I screwed up JNB's report by not saving and closing the word document when 2000 words is already done! It was a total OMG situation, like never before. Got no choice but to REDO it, believe me, I almost died. So glad that I'm already done with PRSEP and ASEP. TVRP's lecturer is seriously getting on my nerves. The radio production assignment is getting nowhere and the video production assignment have not even started when there is only 3 weeks of school left. I'm starting to regret my decision of choosing TVRP for my GP when I'm having such a irresponsible and STM teacher. Great. Why do the things I like always got to be the worst that I could have ever have?
Ok, I scewed up O Level Maths Paper as well. It wasn't really much and somehow expecting the results already. I admit I didn't put time and effort on it. Dad is still having problems with me studying in a private school, wondering when is he gonna stop. Fuck Polytechnic Certs.
Went roller blading on a Thursday as there's no school. Pictures right up.

Ending of Hell, Welcoming a Whole New Level of Pain.

2009-12-30T17:25:00.009+08:00

Maybe, its just time to take a pause in life and think about what is going to come next. It have been a little while since I did a lengthy post, and today's gonna be the day to do so.
As stated in the title of this fateful post, its coming to an end for Hell (2009). Let me explain more why it had been Hell. Its not going to be easy, I will be getting all emotional and bad memories flowing.
In Jan 2009, I was still engaged with my job ever since I started after my sucky O Levels in 2008. Job was still smooth, having fun. Great co-workers, great bosses but there wasn't any job satisfaction. (Till now, I still have phobias of E-appointment kiosk.) Days were just counting without making any meaning, I was just wasting my time, doing all I can to keep away from home. But I was sacked some time after. Everyone was to go, the project ended.
My nightmare started. You couldn't imagine how depressed I was everyday. Words cant explain how I feel inside. The feeling of being so near yet appearing so far. All I need was more care and concern, but all I get was nothing but shit. Soon, the results of my sucky O Levels are out. As sucky as it can be, I couldn't get into any polys after DAE or JAE. Didn't give up and did more just to let the polys accept me, I handed in more applications. None were successful. I tried NAFA, not successful as well. (This was the one time I got my camera and realised the love of my life.) Till today, I still recall the very scene where my mum teared as she was mad worried about me having no schools to attend. It hurt me like the very same rejection that I have to face from all the polys. I saw no future in my life. Nothing. You don't know how it feels when all your peeps get to places they want to get, and being accepted while you are the only one left all alone. I have never felt so much like a failure in my life before.
I was advised to have self-study and retaking O levels again, but I couldn't imagine all the shit that I will have to go through at home with my dad. This could only be the worst nightmare and with this I was feeling more depressed than ever.
My mum introduced MDIS to me from a friend of hers. I got in in April. It was just a matter of money. My dad was not pleased at all. It was a private school after all, I couldn't expect too much from either him or anyone else. I struggled at the beginning, because even I was against the idea of entering a private school. Things took a better turn, I was adapting well. I was determined to do my very best, not being the last on any one's list. Starting from April till now, school is great. Dad wasn't.
Being in a private school, everyone thought it was so easy. God knows what made them think this way. It wasn't in the least easy with all the assignments, reports and stupid presentations. I rebelled to all bad comments and did what I have to do. I wasn't really picking up in the start. Coping with bad comments and bad responses from many including you. It was tough, but I'm never gonna let them bring me down. I wanna start proving them wrong by doing my best and making sure that I will out stand.
I started pursuing perfection. It almost killed me and broke relationships with my mates. Was this all that I wanted? Was it supposed to turn out this way? What was I expecting? My stubbornness is bringing me down. Not anyone else but myself. Yet, somehow I managed to changed things and at least getting something out of both worlds.
I didn't know proving them wrong was not able to convince. They left me hanging. I couldn't do anything to make a difference, making all efforts going down to waste. I should have knew it from the start. Nothing can change you.
With Hell coming to an end, I believe the Devil is going to bring me to a whole new level of Pain. I'm getting ready for all that have yet to come.

Happy Holidays & Have A Happy New Year.

Bye 2009, Hello 2010

On the brighter note,

I'm having a new phone and it might be Blackberry Curve 8520.

Excited, but I really hope it wouldn't dissapoint me by being worst than E72.

Christmas with Daddy.

2009-12-26T13:06:00.002+08:00

Marking the End of Christmas :)

Christmas with Mummy.

2009-12-25T14:55:00.003+08:00

Next up, BBQ Christmas celebration with Daddy.

Christmas with BFF.

2009-12-24T01:15:00.002+08:00

Christmas with Family tmrw :D

Happy Birthday Mummy :)

2009-12-17T19:14:00.002+08:00

Mummy and her presents.

NEWYORK NEWYORK!

Got my hair fixed.

2009-12-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

My mum say I look so much younger,
my brother thought I look like an auntie trying to look young
and best part, my dad didn't even notice I did something to my hair.
What do you think?

Walking around.

2009-12-11T23:55:00.009+08:00

Alright, I screwed things up and I hereby apologise for any form of damage done to both parties. I'm a bitch but I'm sorry alright?
Realised that school wasn't for me today. Hennie and I got from Jurong Point to AMK Hub and finally Bishan Junction 8 and back to AMK Hub again. First shopping trip to AMK Hub and I suppose this might be the last. Its a goddam boring mall! AMK Hub is like shitzx so we decided to hit Bishan Junction 8 which is far better. Caught Couples Retreat, hilarious movie :) Got my first Domokun plush toy. Mad happy cos its fucking cheap. I didnt know what got into us, but we got the sudden urge to take neoprints. Funniest part? The neoprints turned out like shit. Best part? I got the wrong choice and in the end we get to choose 2 shots out of 6? WTF is wrong with me? I can really cock up things man. I suppose I'm down on luck lately.

I'm mad happy cos tmrw I'm gonna fix my hair! :D

Dreams yet to come true.

2009-12-02T22:52:00.004+08:00

Save my ass. I'm so paranoid at the fact of 4 students failing TPSW's paper. I would thank god if I pass ( although I don't believe in one. ) Oh man, I'm freaking out. Goddam it. I couldn't imagine what I will become if I fail ( You cant imagine how bad I can get as a perfectionist. ) Failing means sup-paper and sup-paper means D. OMFG, I can't even tolerate a C let alone D. *Pulling apart my eye leads now* I'm not only worried over TPSW only, its about TDMC as well. Urgh, having the thought of letting down the 2 of my favourite teacher is such a turn off. Btw, I miss Mr Naidu and Mr Jailani, you both are the best.
I should really start flipping through Primary 6 grammar books starting from today. My English is getting rusty. See! I'm totally into Singlish now. If I don't start now, I would suffer during JNB's paper totally.

Started on the content brainstorming of the radio production for TVRP. I can't wait to start the hands-on. I have been waiting for this day ever since I'm determined to be a DJ of some radio stations. Although totally excited, I know a whole load of shit awaits me. The whole recording process, editing and producing is extremely tedious, but I'm ready ;)

Karaoke with Hennie :)

2009-11-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

PS: My Laptop is back :)

Bah, Fucking Attitude.

2009-11-29T13:52:00.004+08:00

I know this is stupid but I cant help but to ask why my family differs so much from the "ideal family" (although I have always knew an ideal family is some fairytale bullshit.) I can't take anymore of that fucking attitude. Fancy him asking me to pay half of the laptop servicing fees when he is not providing me with any allowance, and the funniest part? I wasn't the one to rack it, its your dearest baby boy who racked it. Pff. Hell, if I have the money, I would have did the servicing using my own money, I wouldn't have even told you let alone begging you about it because I know you wouldn't give a flying fuck. If you think I have the money, then come ask me to pay for it. Sometimes, your behaviour and your mindset can really amuse me, in fact it have never fail to. You wouldn't even get a penny from me, not because I don't want to but its because I can't.

Speaking of this, I seriously need a job. There's no more cases for photo shooting portfolios. Super no lobang now. But this is definitely not the time to get a job. The last term of diploma, I cant afford to risk it for anything, I will be doomed if this is so.

Enduring in progress.

Spending time together seems fun.

2009-11-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

Right or Wrong?

2009-11-26T23:24:00.005+08:00

It takes effort, time and courage to dwell will the past and memories. Minds have never stopped thinking, giving no reason why mine should differ from the others. I can differentiate the right from the wrong, but sometimes rumor, gossips and biases blind you from the truth. Standing at the point of having the right to know the truth, nothing would blind you if your stand is firm but what about circumstances and situations? Disappointment with people, or rather disappointment with people whom I am concerned about, have been always the biggest part of the cause of my coldness with the reality. Friendship or kinship have always been bullshit to me, come on, stop brainwashing me about all this shit. You wouldn't be able to know a person inside out or the case the other way round, never be too sure what they are capable of. Reality have always been the main sight of life, never underestimate the ability of it, it can knock the "shit-est" sense out of you.

Thank those people who look down on you because they are going to be the source and motivation of your success. Thanking you again from looking down and setting those unreachable or rather unsatisfying goal setting concept of yours. I'm tired of all this, but to keep the fire going, I have no choice but to accept this with a smile and not forgetting appreciating. What am I transforming into?

I suppose all these reactions wasn't surprising let alone shocking, it was just that people wasn't sensitive enough to realise the facts. Somehow, I'm convinced that people are not incapable, its the willingness and the initiative needed.

Term started, lecturers couldn't be worst. Thankful for the assignments given, big effort.

Just being cheesy but I cant help it.

2009-11-18T15:23:00.001+08:00

A tribute to my laptop.

Life is meaningless and empty without it.

I'm so sad cos servicing will be delayed.

Someone kill me.

The 5th day without daddy being home.

2009-11-13T21:31:00.009+08:00

You dont know how delicious these guys can get.
I can finish a donut in 3 bites :D

As told like the title appear above, this is the 5th day that daddy is away from home. Gotten used to waking up really late, having snacks all the time, 24hr air-conditional mode and many many more. He's gonna be back on Wed for the earliest and maybe on Sun if theres more to be done. I miss you ok? Not. Hahaha, I know, but you are not me, you dont understand so keep your comments :D Had 2 papers so far and all did turned out good, I'm praying to be so for the up coming 2 papers. Gorta really study hard for my plans to be working out fine. E71, G10 and room make over, here I come :D Jiayou for the 2 up coming papers.

Steamboat for birthdays.

2009-11-08T00:11:00.005+08:00

16 years ago.

2009-11-01T16:27:00.003+08:00

Came across all this when I was packing up.

Growing up way too fast.

New Gad.

2009-10-30T23:56:00.003+08:00

Photo Blog on Tumblr, do check it out.

http://andrea-aaa.tumblr.com/

New wants.

2009-10-28T18:41:00.004+08:00

Canon G10 is making me drool. 14.1 mega pixel and zoom lens are the features that exceeded my current one. And yea, as expected its price has also exceeded.
I'm actually dreaming that my dad will get me this, seems like this is all gonna be a dream only then cos mummy wouldnt be able to afford this one anymore unless its half a year later, duh.
Finally back from all assignments and Os, stop asking me about the paper, cos its obviously that its screwed up. No hope for passing and poly, no hope that dad will continue to support my studies any further. Gotta prove that staying in my current position will be better than poly. Exams are coming up, got to start drilling again. Hope I wouldn't wait till the last minute like I always do. Think I'll only be back only after exams.

Pulau Bukom.

2009-10-27T19:35:00.001+08:00

The Making Of NVC.

2009-10-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

The Making of NVC
Edited with three new clips added towards the end.
This is the final, Have fun.

Pulau Bukom.

2009-10-23T23:20:00.004+08:00

Down to Orchard for Shooting.

2009-10-21T23:29:00.006+08:00

I need a break, seriously.

2009-10-20T18:40:00.002+08:00

Apart from saying that I'm tired, I got to say, I'm tired. Apart from talking about the assignments that I have, I got to say, I have many assignments. Sorry to mention all this again and again, but this is the boring schedule of mine these days. Boring is alright but the main thing - tiredness, ugh. Now, I cant seem to get enough of sleep and food. Sleeping and eating like a pig, I see myself turning into one soon.

We knocked out the skit requested as part of TPSW and scored 2%, Major Whee. Having hard work paid off is priceless. Tmrw is TDMC tutorial (which means I have to bring along my over weigh laptop -.- ) and heading down to town after which for shooting. Yea, finally something different apart from reports and presentations. I want to get shots of the night city scene remember? I bet you don't cos it was like ages ago. I wanna flood my blog with pictures. My work blog is fucking dead. Ugh. And there isn't any job for me recently, anyway, I wouldn't have time for them since schoolwork is always on top of my list. I just wish the forgetfulness of mine will spare me this time so I will remember charging batteries for my camera.

I just hope the assignment this time round will turn out fine and flawless. That's all that I wish for, that's all. I'm not being too greedy, am I?

Mentally down.

2009-10-16T22:37:00.002+08:00

Sleeping doesn't help when you're mentally tired. Oh god, help me. I mean waking up to a stupid yet hostile argument wouldn't help but worsen things. Fancy me hoping that he will understand that I am in this state now, wishful thinking of my part. The assignments that are assigned almost after every lecture is killing me. The deadlines are so near. Yea, I know I have been nagging and nagging non stop about the assignments that are driving me crazy, bear with me now, you are not the one in this.

Balancing life.. Having the biggest priority on the top of the list while others line accordingly. Work as the first priority or life as the first priority? I don't want let my life go to waste again, it has been like this for far too long, life's too short to give it a miss. If I can place work on the top, why cant you? I don't give stupid excuses to cover up on what I am suppose to do and why not you? Maybe we have different priorities, but I just cant understand. I know I wouldn't regret any decisions because I had witnessed paying off. I only saw enthusiastic in you when it paid off, I think I need not empathize more.

Busy Bee.

2009-10-15T18:54:00.003+08:00

Wow, I have been so busy with stuff recently. Nah, not stuff, but in fact assignments. I have not got the time for myself to rest or to pick up pieces of life that I have lost along the way. Seems like I really gorta let them find their own way back or just to leave it alone. I know things are settling in especially when the exams are coming up, but the O Level Mathematics papers just turn me off. With me being so busy with school's assignment and the up coming exam, it damn obvious that I have not started revising on anything yet. Hey, hold your thrashing, scoldings and advices, its too late now. Even if I did study, I don't think it will take me anywhere, I'm totally done with Mathematics.

The filming of the video will be soon up, but still, we ain't sure of the guidelines and objectives that well yet. Just figured out the guidelines for TDMC's presentation and report, going to start drilling it this Saturday.

Anyway, I'm meeting up with some of the girls tmrw for pizza over my place. Whee, finally I'm meeting them, we wasted the whole of the holidays that we have for our meetings. Not really wasting to be precise, I was really busy with work too. Just like I mentioned, its only some of the girls. Yet, after so long and so much, we still cant get down to a proper meeting. I'm still here waiting for one, its just different from the other times if you girls have noticed. I'm still waiting for it.

Jalan Raya Today.

2009-10-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

All the Hectics.

2009-10-11T11:40:00.001+08:00

Back after Hectics.

2009-10-10T13:25:00.003+08:00

Hey, its been so long since I'm here. Cleared the previous skin and now here with a new one. I'm sick of changing skins like forever but I just cant stop myself, regular blog followers of mine will know what I'm talking about yea.

Tons have happened in this small and busy period of time. Crazy, funny, fun filled, stressed up, irritated, ridicules and bitchy, going on all at the same time. Its really common for me to have mixed feelings, cant really describe them all, it will take the whole afternoon to do so and I don't have a whole afternoon for myself.
I am really cheering at this very moment as the really irritating HMC assignment, inclusive of a presentation and report, is now done but not officially because I don't know how fussy that woman can get. Really glad though, as at the very least, the presentation was a success. The slackest presentation ever but not only myself thought we did great, but almost all team mates. Had fun with you guys although its tough, we are all in it together.

Next up, left with the almost-done Fashion Report for TPSW and the not-yet-started Presentation and Report for TDMC. Kinda worried for the exams coming up, for school and O Levels. I'm so gonna be dead, I only know why. Serve you right, Andrea. You, yourself, scewed it up.

Sweet Tooth.

2009-10-03T23:06:00.007+08:00

Just back from the airport with Mummy. Bought tons of sweet snacks! I'm just home not long after 2 days. It seems to be so long that I am not at home. Spent a great time with Mummy at her place and I'm eating like a cow there.
Anyway, assignments are really up my neck! I cant really breathe now. Presentation's this Wednesday and we are not even half there yet. Arh, stressed. Don't even try to remind me of the dress code, I would kill anyone who remind me of that.
Will be going over to Alishia's place tmrw to rush our assignment, did I ever mention that her place is the most awesome place I have been to? Haha, just imagine a condominium at East Coast Park area. Nah, its nothing actually... ITS AWESOME. Sorry but I really cant suppress my excitement and being jealous.

In Their Shoes,

2009-09-27T11:59:00.004+08:00

I just caught "My Blog World" on TV. Talking about teens and their life, and the mistakes that they have made and in the end overcoming things and carrying on with life. That reflected me in the past in some way, but I have something to say. Not trying to be personal or going against something, but teens should seriously wake up.

Hate going home when your parents are facing marriage crisis, quarrelling none stop, blaming on your single family background for your bad results or your sick attitude or behaviour. If you have been sensitive enough to notice that your parents are human as well, why blame your parents for ruining your life because of their relationship problems or the love that they have failed to shower on you? Question yourself about doing likewise. Give them a hug instead of a black face, all they need is comfort and assurance to overcome what they are facing, believe me, they need it. If you have a soul mate now, you should understand the difficulties of getting together. With all those relationship problems and a huge load of responsibilities to take, I have realised how noble my parents are. Although they ain't in good terms, but at least, I know that they have tried their very best to make things work. They have made that thought count. In their shoes, I wouldn't have known what to do and be equally noble to give up things in their life that they desired. Stop putting the blame on others, to make things work, start from you - yourself.

A kiss from my mother made me a painter. - Benjamin West

Things as small as a kiss, leave a great impact. Don't take things for granted. Don't leave it till the last moment and regret your actions, it would all be too late.

Selfless in a Bad way.

2009-09-26T12:37:00.006+08:00

Realised my recent posts was all pictures or videos with no words. Lazy to post mah. Was really busy with all my assignments, SBS's Irritatingly Difficult Report which is till now, lack of flow in it and TDMC's Stereotyping or rather Portrayal of Racist movie hunting. But being the normal me, loving the stress load to make me feel alive :) What's life without stress and work? Whose life doesn't have them? The assignment that worries me the most is HMC. Business Cultural in Sweden : I know NUTS about them. The worst to come, the Uber Irritating dress code. Team mates: You guys will once again see me in the poker dot shirt, URGH. Getting used to the presentation style in school, realised myself wasn't that nervous like I was back then, Great..
Actually all this has been happening and I have already saw the outcome, yet I wasn't able to accept nor persuade myself to accept it. I see it as something too important to be neglected or solved in a hasty manner. But what else can I do without you cooperating? Nothing could be done. Seems like I just got to use the old way, try to get use and adapt to it no matter what.

They make School Fun ;)

2009-09-24T22:46:00.006+08:00

It made my day.

2009-09-23T20:24:00.003+08:00

Sentosa & Seafood.

2009-09-22T20:01:00.000+08:00

I want come city night scenes.

2009-09-20T12:34:00.004+08:00

Finally Sentosa tmrw, hope nothing will crop up last minute like the previous time. Currently tired of being mocked at for being white and looking too girly - Major Eww. I wanna be tanned, again. My face's freaking white, something I didn't really notice until I saw pictures of myself. And yea, gorta remind myself to charge batteries for my camera. I want scenes of city at night, meaning a trip down to Orchard area. Its been ages, no, it should be decades since I went round taking photos. Miss those days where I go around alone in search for inspirations and to have things to post on my work blog. Try taking a look at my work place. Its horribly Empty and Messy. I will always be a rough and messed up artist. Nah, maybe not artist, a art bystander who makes what she see into work will roughness and never fail to mess things up to satisfy what she thinks makes it up to standard. Either way, I'm still on my way to discover myself.

Open Self, Blind Self, Hidden Self and Unknown Self.

The Open Self
Represent information about an individual that is known to both individual and others.

The Blind Self

Represents information about an individual that is known to others but not the individual. Contain certain information of a person's habit and character traits of which the person is unaware.

The Hidden Self

Represents information about an individual that is known to that individual only, but not to others. Information a person keeps secret from others.

The Unknown Self

Represents information about an individual that is not known to either the individual or others. However, unusual or difficult circumstances may bring light information about a person not previously known.

I'm dying to know my Unknown Self and my Hidden Self is in really bad proportion that may blind me to know my Unknown Self. Tell me more about the solutions. I really need to find myself to know that I am worthy and supposed to be standing in status quo.

I'm bored.

2009-09-16T15:43:00.010+08:00

This is what I do when I'm bored.

I'm missing Mr Jalani's class. His jokes and of course those movies that he screen. The genre of movies he screen are the ones that I enjoy, that's why I'm so in love with his lessons and there's one coming up this Friday.(smiles) There's still quite a number of assignments undone, 3 reports and 1 presentation. Gonna go through them one by one later. Don't want any mistakes like what I've made yesterday, if not I'm so not gonna forgive myself for being disappointed.

Second day that Daddy's at Batam. Chilling away at home. No external stress. But somehow, I'm worried when problems crop up and I wouldn't be able to handle them. But things around home are fine, nothing much to worry about.

Recently, she wasn't really feeling well and seems quite troubled. Maybe it's just the things in her head that is triggering her mood and concentration. I just hope that she will be able to sort things out and think towards the positive side. Don't let anything distract you, you will be fine like you always do.

Can someone slap me in the face?

2009-09-15T21:03:00.003+08:00

Maybe I'm not in the right mind, maybe I'm just being with my ego, but I'm not in the least satisfied. Talking about preparation of the presentation, I did my very best, putting in 101% of effort into each and every part of everything. Researching, editing, printing, gathering photos to rehearsing. I was ready for the presentation, but it was my nerves that is in panic. I was ready to place out my work for all to see, but I did it for maybe less than a minute or so, and I was called to stop. Its not that I didn't do well but I thought that I have flaws that don't deserve 9/10, and with the 2 handicap points for the first 10 "victims" for the presentation, I got full marks. Talking about getting full marks by the help of the handicap points although I have already got 9/10, I wasn't even in the least satisfied. "Weird?!", that was my brother's respond upon hearing that. Yea, weird indeed, I have thought. I wasn't worthy of the marks. I didn't even finish my speech, didn't not even touch on the visual aid evaluations let alone any examples given. I was so disappointed in myself cos I was blabbering when I first started my speech. Sir realised my nervousness and commented that my demonstration was lacking of explanation, despite this, he gave me a total of 9 (stop mentioning 10 cos I really don't deserve it). He asked, "What do you think you could have done to improve your presentation?" I was thinking of answering everything but instead I made a face and said, "More examples?" He looked at me with nod of agreement and replied. "Yeah." I almost killed myself on the spot. I have tons and tons of examples on my hand that was missed out due to my disorganisation and I was called to stop, and now I'm pin pointing myself about not having enough examples. Duh. The worst presentation ever.

P.S: Sir, I know that you have your reason for requesting that I should stop cos we were lack of time but I wasn't happy with me, myself as being a perfectionist, so don't get me wrong. Thanks for appreciating my presentation though.

Telling this isnt the first time.

2009-09-10T22:20:00.005+08:00

I dread coming home to all of you. It just makes me feel grey inside. I don't really know how to explain this feeling but if you are a friend of mine, you will never know how I behave at home. I may be very outgoing, a full time joker and someone really cheerful, but at home, I'm totally different. It was them who made me this way, coming home means nothing but trouble and more troubles. I'm not a punching bag let alone someone you can make use of. Don't only come talking to me when you need my help and ignoring me as though I'm not there when you don't need me. This is not only coming from a particular someone but the both of them. I'm really tired, and having being sad to know that my pillar of strength is turning his back on me. I seriously think that I would need a getaway, but honestly and practically speaking, how long can I get away with all this? Somehow, someday, I will eventually be back again. Totally defeating the purpose of leaving in the first place. I just wanna come back to a place of privacy and stress free. Somewhere really relaxing. Isn't that then a place call home instead of coming home to more stress, misunderstanding, arguments and despise? I don't know what worst can happen to other families and I don't care. I just wanna a place to cool down and feel myself. Maybe only heaven is the ideal place. How ironic. I wouldn't be breathing with any soul by then.

Imagine if it's true.

2009-09-08T21:26:00.004+08:00

John Lennon - Imagine

Imagine there's no Heaven. It's easy if you try. No hell below us. Above us only sky. Imagine all the people. Living for today. Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for. And no religion too. Imagine all the people. Living life in peace. You may say that I'm a dreamer, But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will be as one. Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can. No need for greed or hunger. A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people. Sharing all the world.

I'm seriously hoping for a world like that, cos with this you would never be here, you will never be a concern of mine. I have always try thinking of others ahead of me. Just like now, I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and thinking was your reaction towards me reasonable. All this thinking is making me sick and tired. But yea, although the mind operates only when there's a human to control it, but my mind seemed to be some other weird stuff, I can't seem to control it at all, not a single bit. Projects date due is so near, making me grabbing my hair and having the risk of getting bald at the end of Diploma. 2 PC Terms have passed, but my hair's still there, I'm just hoping that it will remain as it is after Diploma.

Frustrated then discovered.

2009-09-07T21:52:00.005+08:00

When will I ever learn patience, tolerance and forgiveness? Seems like a mission impossible to me somehow.

Was waiting for dad and bro after school for the purchase of ppt and printer ink cartridge. I was alone for maybe an hour, was just walking around Popular. It has been sometime since I have spent time alone ever since school started. As I walked, things were going through my head yet again. Noticing the crowd and noises surrounding me, I felt nothing but emptiness. I felt misplaced. I started frowning even at the littlest things. Baby whining, people talking loudly, coins dropping, cashier's scanning to hand phone ringing. I almost blow my top when a lad accidentally knocked on to me. Wasn't in the least pleased with anything. "Weird? What's wrong with me today?", I thought. I walked over to the books section and was interested in the best novel based on true stories column. I picked up a book, and it reads,

"If I am missing or dead" by Janine Latus.
'In April 2002, Janine Latus's youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. 'If I am gone or dead', it read, 'question Ron'. Since childhood Janine and Amy had been sexualised and belittled. As adults the sisters sought familiarity, ending up in a series of abusive relationships. Finally, Janine confessed the truth to Amy, and with her support, escaped in time. But Amy was keeping a terrible secret of her own and by the time the letter was found ten weeks later, she was already missing. 'If I'm Missing or Dead' is a heartbreaking ture story of abuse, fear and ultimate triumph. A compelling, brutally honest memoir that details the all to secretive and subtle nature of domestic abuse: Janine's story offers a lifetime to anyone trapped within a controlling, abusive relationship.

Something knocked into me after reading that little paragraph. How bad is your life? How shitty is your life? How have life abused you? How have things been bad for you? Count yourself lucky, you are still breathing, this is something that some have been dying to do yet you are taking it for granted. I walked out feeling ashamed. Its time to grow up and think, maturely.

Indeed, I would love to.

2009-09-05T23:24:00.002+08:00

Lets find some beautiful place to get lost. Feeling too much imperfections or
rather unsatisfactions in life since no one's perfect. Things were supposed to be simple but we choose to complicate them cos we were not prepared to be taken down by anything. Its the ego, the pride or the stubbornness in us that is making things difficult. Although we knew the root of the problem, we weren't ready to make a difference, a change. You and I know very well our feelings or love towards each other, but what was it stopping you to show it out? You and your ego, your pride, your stubbornness. Since you wanted it that way, I shall do the same then. You knew from the start I hated this, but after so many, you choose to run away from them. I am very sure you were aware of my feelings towards your comment, but I can also see that you are not in the least caring. Maybe its not only you, but everyone. Its being unfair to me. I'm giving in, forgiving and forgetting, instead, you wanted more and more. Come on, I am a human. I have limits, feelings and obviously a temper. It was just that you were not the victim for any of those.
I knew you need respect and had feelings too. I have placed myself in your shoes, but have you ever do the same? I doubt that. But since its in this way already. Lets not change it. Getting from bad to worst.

Teachers' Day 2009

2009-08-31T22:42:00.004+08:00

Bye for now and maybe forever.

2009-08-27T10:21:00.002+08:00

I'm so into KAT VON D and her pin-up girls tattoos.

Anyway, the projects in school now are really flooding my schedule.

This term is predicted to be real tough.

But we gorta go on no matter what, I'm in for it.

Tell me about maths o levels now.

I will not be posting like how I used to, frequently updating.

I'm busyyy.

Nothing Much Going On.

2009-08-20T11:09:00.003+08:00

Powered by Flickr

Finally Blogger is going to recover for a permanent time (I hope),

since its a network viewing page problem,

so it fine now after some updates.

Nothing much is going on recently,

life's really boring when all friends are unable to meet.

So now I'm really looking forward to 28th August and 31st September.

28th August will be the end of all the papers for all the girls,

and we will be ending it and celebrating it will a steamboat gathering.

For 31 September, we are finally going back to where we all came from,

Jurong West Secondary School to thank all the teachers for all the teachings.

It was just sad that most of the teachers have left the school along with us.

But people come and go changes occur as though its mother nature.

Speaking of changes, I realised lil bro have changed alot.

He talks lesser and to be precise, I feel him there no more.

Maybe he's a teenager now, having friends of his own and a life of his own.

Now being home is such a scary thing. There's no one to talk to.

If changes occur thought its mother nature, we cant stop it but accept it.

Movies anyone?

2009-08-16T10:32:00.008+08:00

Powered by Flickr

Ohhh.. I'm so tired. Insomnia recently, got asleep at 4 ytd and woke up at 8.
Anyway, caught Where Got Ghost ytd with Mummy at Lot 1.
The theater is damn dirty and the sound system

is worst than what I have at home.
The movie was ok, not scary but the sound effects did made me jump.
Had quite a laugh but I thought Money No Enough 2 was way better.

I wanna catch Up.

Many good comments about it, was surprised that it actual moves
people when I thought that its just another normal cartoon comedy.
This term break totally sucked to the core.
Was boredddddd, mainly no one's free for any

outing or gathering cos they are schooling.
Damnnnn, what a wasted break.

When I start school then most poly starts holiday.
Totally WTF. But was glad that next term there's a number of days off.
I'm looking forward to any outing, wanna quit rotting at home.

Back Again. It better be for good.

2009-08-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

Powered by Flickr ©

Ain't this sweet?

My my my, finally Blogger recovered, allowing me to start posting.
Things have not been going on smoothly as it was supposed to be.
But I always manage to get through these shits without any help.
Getting numb from all these nonsense, soon they will be nothing.
Was really boring through out the week, girls are having their exams.
Never felt so empty inside before, really hoping school will start soon.
The next term will be full of shit, no more slacking like I use to.
4 courses this time round and everything seemed Alien.
But there is also senses of curiosity to know each course better.
I hope school will keep me busy and make Life seem useful.

To regret or not to.

2009-08-10T21:51:00.001+08:00

Just back from sleep overs, shopping,
park strolling, talks and many more.
Finally something meaningful in life.
Sleep over was great, the longest after sooo long.
But its leaving me dead tired now.
Hahaha, mahjong can't get any better.
Went over to Bukit Batok Nature Park as well,
and got the picture for my post.
Tmrw would be another bored day.
Studying wil be the best option?
Seems like recently I have been thinking alot.
I have been dwelling on things that I have regretted.
Will I undo things that I have regretted?
We have always wanted to undo our mistakes,
but will things still be the same?
Maybe there would be more drastic events.
Who knows?

A day at Sentosa with Mummy.

2009-08-07T13:08:00.002+08:00

The First Slumber.

2009-08-03T17:33:00.002+08:00

Lack of posts cos Blogger's really dying away.
On Friday, Girlfriends came over for a slumber party.
I dont know whether I was being over sensitive or not,
We dont talk like girlfriends anymore.
I felt something missing.
No, maybe something more in their hearts.
More commitment and more friends.
I can feel us going apart.
I remember us talking about everything,
but I felt that we were not really talking in the party.
Maybe it was the lack of members.
I really hope I was being over sensitive.
Anyway, we did have fun as well.
Its been so long that we really had time for each other.
After the slumber, Girlfriends got sick, including me as well.
Girlfriends : Do take care, exams are near, do your best
and most importantly Get Well Soon.

Getting really really mad.

2009-07-30T10:46:00.006+08:00

"When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece"

- John Ruskin

Its just the start of the day and nothing much did really happened,

and I'm here blogging.

Cos I've been driven mad by Blogger.

The tool bar is back, but afraid of history happening again,

I'm not gonna let the chance slip away.

Anyway, I have finally placed the orders for the make up palettes :)

Happy happy happy :D

I'm having the 120 eyeshadow and the 32 lip gloss palette :)

I'm so excited for some make overs and photo shoot.

I am so not happy.

2009-07-29T19:14:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously pissed. I just wanna ask
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH BLOGGER?
It had recovered this morning while I was doing a check,
and when I wanna blog, that fucking problem occur again. Tsk.
This is definately not my lappy's problem as I have many other pissed friends encountering the same stupid fucking irritating problem.
I cant upload a image, I cant bold, shift, colour any text.
Basically the whole tool bar is missing! Seriously WTF.
Enough for Blogger.
Today was the first day I'm staying at home and things started happening.
I really dont know whether it was me or you, but I was really really pissed.
No matter how much effort I put in, it doesnt seem to pay back.
Maybe not talking about any pay backs, but at least, not some discouragements or wse.
Argh, I guess I just cant stay home. Thats my life.
Im so not gonna stay home tmrw.
Sad that she cant come for the sleep over,
but Im contented that we are at least meeting.
IMY Girls.

Still not done yet.

2009-07-28T22:28:00.001+08:00

Damn, Blogger is still not done with its bitchy-ness, Duh.
Went to Mac at Jurong Point to study for O Level Maths.
Fuck or what! The most boring trip to the mall!
Urgh, I cant believe I gorta do this for the whole month.
Although there will be no pictures for my post for maybe the next few days or even weeks dont tell me months (if not I will start killing)
I will fill my post with quotes instead, here goes.
You can Never cross the ocean unless you have the Courage to lose sight of the shore - Christopher Columbus

A very special post.

2009-07-27T20:49:00.004+08:00

This is my very first post, whereby there's no picture,
Words are by the side, in simple terms, imperfect post because of our Noble Blogger System.
But I cant let my blog die just because of Blogger's bitchy-ness.
My absence represents the present of exams,
Econs paper was a total BOMBBB, while the others are still ok..
Damn, I can't imagine myself opening up the result slip this time round.
While my presence represents the absence of exams,
So here comes holiday :D
Today's the start of my one month holiday.
Today was really dead, so called Aimee to accompany me to Diaso
for some organisers in my room.
Feel like changing all the stuff in my room again -.-
And yarh.. Its going to be August soon.
Gorta start working hard for O Level Maths.
I'm still pinning some hope for entering a Poly.
Someone help me?

Uber Bored -.-

2009-07-19T10:47:00.004+08:00

I know I'm really lazy on blogging recently.

Anyway there's nothing much of any excitement going on,

so this post will eventually end up being boring.

Argh, this whole break from school was all about studying,

so yar, how great cant this get??? Duh.

Hennie came over on Friday to do some final touch of studying.

Went Diaso after that, it was frame shopping (haha)

Went Lot 1 ytd with mummy and had dinner there.

Went arcade and did some shopping at the hypermarket.

Omg, I can't believe my life is getting uber boring!

I should really get a life after my exams.

Duh, maybe not, O level Maths is coming!

Save me?

Should start now.

2009-07-13T11:33:00.003+08:00

Stuck in a stupid situation now.
Stay home or out in the library?
Darn, I don't wanna regret any decisions made.
Didn't do much of any studying last week except for APM.
Still leaving out Econs and Media Studies.
I'm doubting to manage my grades well this time.
Argh. Studying is what I should do now isn't it?
Duh, that's the last thing I wanna do now.

X-scope's Fun.

2009-07-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

Thank you for Everything.

2009-07-12T00:01:00.006+08:00

Thanks for all the present and celebration dinner.
I've enjoyed myself totally, really.
Dad, Thanks for present and the cake.
I don't think I could forgive you, but still thanks.
"You can remove a nail from the wall,

but you can never remove that long and ugly scar that you have made there."

Nothing in mind.

2009-07-10T10:31:00.002+08:00

When Blogger finally allows to post a picture without any problem,

posting without any trouble, here I am struggling on what to post.

I'm getting used to the loneliness at home, being alone all day.

Getting more and more disconnected with the world.

I haven't been talking much in days..

Anyway, thanks for all the wishes :) Really Appreciate it :)

I dont know.

2009-07-07T14:32:00.006+08:00

You talk nothing to me except work.
You look down on me cos I'm fat.
Do you really know what I wanted?
You forced me to do things that I hate,
but for you and for the relationship between us to heal,
I did all that I didn't want to.
For this I hated myself.
I have never lived life for myself.
Never, Not even once.
I'm going 17 this very Friday,
and for all this 17 years,
I have tolerated through all this shit.
In the end, I became one tough cookie instead of daddy's little girl.
It was always for others than me.
You embarrass me in front of your friends.
You laugh it off when people put me down.
You said that it was for my own well being,
but you didn't know how hurt I've felt.
Your words were never easy on me.
Do you know how they feel?
You always wanted things your way,
but its my life that you are dealing with,
why can't things go my way?
Why do I have to live life for you?
Just because you're my dad?
I'm a human you are handling with,
not some stupid puppet that you are fondling with.
What am I to you? Tell me, Please.
I have always hated you when you told me to do work around the house,
but at times, I would ask myself, am I being too much,
its just work that you have told me to do.
I'm being confused by myself.
I don't know what I was heading for.
Hatred or forgiveness? I don't know.

It made things so difficult that I am starting to hate your voice, your presence.

Work Harder.

2009-07-06T11:19:00.006+08:00

Stressed out by my current work load and of course, Dad.
Wondering when he will stop all his nonsense.
Wasn't really satisfied with my grades for assignments, especially APM.
Since that's the case, all the more I should work harder for the exams.
Expectations are going higher but my grades aint any better.
I dont wanna let anyone down especially myself.
Winning is not everything, but wanting to is.
Putting in my best.

Senseless.

2009-07-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

I got a new pencil case instead of a wallet -.-

Argh, cant seem to find a wallet that I like so.. yar.

Got a new mirror as well.

May be watching Ice Age 3 with Bro on Monday?

Thank You So Much.

2009-07-03T23:44:00.005+08:00

To all: Thank you so much for the Surprise,
the presents and of course, the Friendship.
Words can't describe how much

all of you weigh in my heart.

You guys made my first birthday surprise and

the most unforgetable birthday I ever had.

To all the 5 BFF girls, a final THANK YOU :)

What's Wrong?

2009-07-02T09:47:00.005+08:00

What the Fuck is wrong with Blogger?

I just cant seem to upload ANY photos.

Got to upload my pictures to photo bucket and get the html code.

Man, this is driving me crazy.

Anyway, ytd Nita and Hennie came over for movies.

Uninvited and Coming Soon.

Uninvited was ok, awesome twist.

Coming Soon was the bomb.

Hennie and I were screaming our heads off.

Didn't have a good night ytd due to my imaginative mind.

There's two classes today, argh.

When Finally, there's time.

2009-06-30T09:24:00.003+08:00

Finally all assignments are done,

And I'm back to the cyberworld :D

Just woke up from 11 hours of sleep,

Fully charged, just a little dizzy of no cause.

Presentation was cancelled,

With a mixture of feelings inside.

Fortunately, I didn't do that much for the power point,

If not I'm gonna tear her into pieces.

Went shopping with Hennie and Nita at Jurong Point ytd,

For the search of her ex-colleague's birthday present.

Nita and I saw a clock that we loved

which only priced for 5 bucks.

So we asked the attendant to check

whether the clocks are working or not

and we took two new ones, but who knows,

they told us that its not on promotion anymore -.-

Such a disappointment to us,

we were about to have the same clock! :(

How's life?

2009-06-26T22:57:00.004+08:00

Headaches and sleepyheads are parts of my life.

How uncool.

Presentation will be on this coming Monday,

which is really SOON,

We are less than 1/4 done,

but we know we've tried our best.

Gorta work really hard this weekend.

I'm so busy, but still, I have a Life.

The girls are coming for movies and breakfast tmrw,

BUT project after that.

I have a Life, a Balanced one ;)

Its the same.

2009-06-25T10:14:00.003+08:00

I knew that all along,
its just that I needed time to proof.
I was right that you would Never change.
But I would not bitch like what I always did.
I'm really sick and tired.
Thought that all the projects are done lah,
but now there's like two more to go,
and one of it is a presentation.
DUH.
Researching, Researching, Researching.

Photoshoot.

2009-06-23T10:01:00.003+08:00

Finally, things are getting into place.

Really beat this few days,

trying to get all the projects done with high expectation,

and yar that's me.

It was just me that added on to my stress.

Wondering if its right to do so,

I'm just looking for the best.

Anyway, thanks Naz, you have been a great partner to work with.

The pictures turned out just the way I want it to :D

Cheers :D

(辛苦你了.) (傻瓜)

2009-06-19T22:55:00.004+08:00

Why is it lingering?

Why do I still think of it?

There's an unfading feeling for that.

How I hope its true.

A "way-too-sweet-to-wake-up" dream.

2009-06-19T11:25:00.003+08:00

Think I've lost the "blogging bug" in me.

Haven got any idea of what to blog recently.

Wonder how I manage to blog so frequent previously.

There's a test recently and projects dead line coming up next week.

Economics' test was SO bad.

Passing would be a miracle.

Projects are going on well,

At least so much better than the previous CS presentation.

Things are settling in.

There's a photo shoot session with Naz on Monday.

Hope the pictures will turn out great.

It has been some time.

2009-06-17T20:10:00.003+08:00

It has been some time since I'm blogging frequently.
Let me summarise,

New Lappy.
Outings
More projects
Going to be like super broke soon
Sick

First time blogging from my lappy,it feels different :)
LOL, as if there's any much difference.
Currently quite stressed out with a headache lingering.
There's economics test tmrw.
And I have not started revising...

Marina Barrage with 4E3.

2009-06-14T19:36:00.004+08:00

Marina Barrage with Cousins.

2009-06-12T10:35:00.008+08:00

Andrea,

This just made my day. Unexpectedly Hilarious.

Some day at Illuma.

"Oh-So-Bored" Week ahead.

Wonders.

TVRP GP

Getaway.

Another stage of everything.

Same Old Thing.

New Wants.

I just wanna be Happy.

Dinner at my place.

Exams are OVER!

Chinese New Year 2010

Old and Irritating People DON'T Deserve Respect.

A Reality Slap on my Face.

I'm telling you although I know you don't care.

A sudden love for OBEY.

New shoes.

Bad day or Bad Months ahead?

Virgin Trip to the Flyer.

Fort Canning for TVRP.

Daddy's Birthday Celebration.

Celebrating Birthdays.

I don't know what the fuck I want, do you?

ATTENTION NEEDED.

Typical Days.

Ending of Hell, Welcoming a Whole New Level of Pain.

Christmas with Daddy.

Christmas with Mummy.

Christmas with BFF.

Happy Birthday Mummy :)

Got my hair fixed.

Walking around.

Dreams yet to come true.

Karaoke with Hennie :)

Bah, Fucking Attitude.

Spending time together seems fun.

Right or Wrong?

Just being cheesy but I cant help it.

The 5th day without daddy being home.

Steamboat for birthdays.

16 years ago.

New Gad.

New wants.

Pulau Bukom.

The Making Of NVC.

Pulau Bukom.

Down to Orchard for Shooting.

I need a break, seriously.

Mentally down.

Busy Bee.

Jalan Raya Today.

All the Hectics.

Back after Hectics.

Sweet Tooth.

In Their Shoes,

Selfless in a Bad way.

They make School Fun ;)

It made my day.

Sentosa & Seafood.

I want come city night scenes.

I'm bored.

Can someone slap me in the face?

Telling this isnt the first time.

Imagine if it's true.

Frustrated then discovered.

More and more questions.

Indeed, I would love to.

Teachers' Day 2009

Bye for now and maybe forever.

Nothing Much Going On.

Movies anyone?

Back Again. It better be for good.

To regret or not to.

A day at Sentosa with Mummy.

The First Slumber.

Getting really really mad.

I am so not happy.

Still not done yet.